146.8 - A New Low

When I woke up this morning, I had a sense that I was going to be under 147 this morning. I just knew it before I stepped on the scale.

I have not been this weight since I was in my early 20s.

And it's weird. Like my body isn't my body yet. Even though it's not quite 8 pounds since starting this new diet, it's almost 8 pounds coming off in the right places. My bones & tendons are starting to show more (not in an anorexic way--believe me, I'm not that thin). My feet are pretty again. I can almost see the top notch of my collar bone on my shoulder. My breast bones are starting to peak through the v-neck of my shirts. My wrists are almost tiny.

Please don't take all this bone talk like I have an eating disorder or I want to be skin & bones. I don't. I just haven't seen the layers under the layer of fat for so many years, and it's fascinating to me. Afterall, healthy women who are athletes have muscle & bone as their primary structures peaking from under their skin.

And they are beautiful. And strong. That's what I'm striving for.

I've been seeing muscles in my shoulders & legs & back for a while. The big muscles that still have a bit of fat over them but still show through. Now I'm starting to look leaner.

The trouble spots are still around--the tummy, the thighs, the hips. I dislike the way I look when I sit down & spread out all over the place. I much prefer the standing tall, sucking it in, shoulders back posture. Lucky for me most of my sitting down takes place at my desk, where I'm by myself all day, and in the bathroom, and the only people who see me in there are my kids, and they could care less (Luke actually enjoys poking on my poochy belly, the silly boy).

The changes in my appearance are motivating. My faster running is motivating. Better fitting clothes are motivating.

The way I feel is the most motivating. I'm not a slave to night time eating right now. I'm not suffering from food guilt. I've got plenty of energy. I'm not (yet) bored with my food choices, and am enjoying what I eat every day. I don't feel deprived. On the contrary, I feel like I'm eating better than I have in a very long time.

And today, I get to have a couple of Carb Up meals, which I'm taking full advantage of to tell my body "Hey look! I'm not taking away all the starchy things you love. I'm not starving myself. You don't have to hang on to all that fat. Let it go, just let. it. go."

Today is day 20 on the new plan. I'm almost to that magic "21 days makes a habit" mark. I'm praying it's a habit that will stay around for a long time.

That's another thing that's really neat about this way of eating, too. I can see me sticking to it for the majority of my life. It's not hard, there are built in cheat days, and I'm not counting anything (except that first week, you don't count carbs, points, or calories--ever). And if I do screw up, I can get back on plan by having 4 carb down days and just get back to it.

For now, though, the plan is to stay on plan. It's a very good thing.