Blame it on the earthquake

Holy cow, we had an earthquake this morning. I am terrified of earthquakes. Truly, I can handle just about anything--storms, tornadoes, flying in a plane across the Atlantic, killing spiders--but earthquakes scare the living daylights out of me. When it hit this morning I was asleep on the couch (DH said I was snoring and he couldn't fall asleep at 2 a.m.!) and woke up right away. I knew exactly what it was, since I've been through 3 or 4 here in Southern Indiana. There's nothing normal about your house shaking and the rumbling noise it makes.

The dog was barking and I got up and ran to the kids' rooms while I tried to decide if I was going to wake them up and get them outside. Thankfully it was only a moderate quake (5.3 or 5.4, I've heard different reports), and it only lasted about 60 seconds I guess. So by the time I got to DH in our bedroom (who slept through it), it had stopped.

Then we had an aftershock around 10:20 CST while I was at work. We are on the 2nd floor and it felt pretty strong, but I called my mom (who is keeping the kids today at our house) and she didn't even feel it.

We were only 40 miles from the epicenter. I am praying they are finished. I know it's a good thing when the pressure is released along the fault line but it still scares the pee out of me.

I need to get our emergency kits together. I've been meaning to for years, and never have. Now I think I will start working on them because a natural disaster + no planning = major problem for me and mine.

Okay, so what do I need to blame on the earthquake? I had a total food meltdown last night. Ate everything I could get my hands on. Was awakened 5 times in the middle of the night (by DH twice, by Luke once, by the earthquake, then by Sophie) and I ate something every time. It was like I had a death wish and I was going to kill myself with carbs. Muffins, a bowl of cereal (which I never let myself eat because it's a major trigger food), and cookies.

I'm beating the crap out of myself today with my horrible food behavior (I didn't even weigh this morning, because I was so bloated and I can't handle the number on the scale, and you know that's bad because I'm a scale junkie). Then Pasta Queen writes today about how she's going through rough patches with food and can't explain her behavior. Except she can. It's the same as it's always been, and will always be, and we have to remember this and figure out how to deal. Her post really helped me today.

Everyone has a cross to bear. This is mine.

I made myself wear skinny clothes today (a short skort which shows off the running muscles in my legs and a black knit short sleeved t-shirt) because I feel fat and like a failure but I'm not going to give into that. Yes, I would like to lose more weight. Yes, I still have major fat pockets and lots of muscle building to do. Yes, I am not in control over my food right now. But I have accomplished so much, and no one but me (well, and you guys) even knows I've gained 4 pounds.

So I'm trying to get a grip. I've packed my running clothes and if things go well at work I'm going to leave around 3 and try to get in 9 miles. If I don't get it done today, it will happen tomorrow morning. Running always helps me get perspective on what my body can do.

I also wanted to share this post for a great take on what it means to be in maintenance mode from Jonathan at Jack Sprat. If you don't read him on a regular basis, you should. He is one of the best examples of maintenance-living and has the most insightful posts on how to deal with food issues. And he's a runner.

Hope you all have a stellar weekend. Spring is here, at last.