Day 312 - 155.4 Time to pay the piper

No more free ride for me. The poundage has arrived--a little over 3.5 pounds--along with the New Year. Is it any wonder January 1st is when so many people start a new diet?

While this isn't a new diet for me, I definitely need a new commitment to my previously healthy lifestyle. There's no need to beat myself up or lament the past few weeks; what's the point in that? They are what they are and they're over, and thankfully The Holidays happen only once a year.

So. I'm out of the house today, with a short work day and a run ahead of me. I haven't had my running shoes on in a week and I truthfully haven't missed it. I would like to say I'm aching to run, but you know how a a body in motion stays in motion and a body at rest stays are rest....well, that's me. My body's been at rest far too long. Time to kick it into gear.

While laying around on my lazy butt this weekend, I read Water for Elephants and absolutely loved it. I could not put it down and spent every spare minute reading. I love and hate books like that. Love them, because they're so fabulous, but hate them, because my life is basically on hold until the book is done. If you haven't read it and decide you want to, I will caution you on one thing--don't read the prologue if you like surprise endings. Me, I don't mind knowing how things turn out and have even been known to skip to the end of a book because I can't stand not knowing. But it drives my DH crazy, so if he reads it (and I'm hoping he does because it's one of the few non-chick-lit/diet/running books I've read and I like it when we can share thoughts on books) I'll have him skip the prologue.

I'll leave you today with a fun pic of the kids. One day last week--I can't remember which, they've all run together--Sophie and Luke were in the back of the house while I was cleaning and picking up, and they were quiet for about 20 minutes and I figured I better go see what's going on. I find them in Sophie's room, and they are both dressed up in fairy costumes. Luke says "I a butterfly Mommy! I a butterfly!" Too stinking cute, don'tcha think?

Happy New Year!!!

Day 309 - 153.0 Holiday Recap Ramble

Hiya gang! I am happy to report I haven't gained any weight over Christmas. Yes, it's up today, but that's because I had dinner out with DH last night complete with potatoes and bread and teriyaki fish, and also had potato chips at 11 p.m. while watching "A Few Good Men" on DVD, so I'm retaining some serious water today. (We saw "Charlie Wilson's War" after dinner, and it was everything I expected and I recommend it.)

Yesterday's weight was 151.8, my "holding steady" weight. Yesterday was the first day I'd stepped on a scale since my last post on 12/20, so I did a little happy dance that I had stayed the same.

I got to run on Christmas eve, a nice 4 miles at sunset, so I enjoyed the Christmas lights. I haven't run since, but am planning on doing something either today or tomorrow.

Santa brought me a Garmin Forerunner 205! My husband completely surprised me. He also bought me a PajamaGram, a fabulously beautiful red velour strappy gown (with matching robe) and it looks like I should be on a dance floor instead of lounging around, it is so pretty. I joked that the Garmin is so I can stay looking good in the nighty.

I can't believe Christmas is over. We had a great one, but it was a blur. The kids had fun and got way too much stuff, but at their ages it's quantity over quality, right?

We hosted DH's family (a total of 15 adults and 4 kids, including us) for Christmas night dinner and it went well--my stuffed chicken and glazed carrots were a hit. I'm always nervous when I have to cook for a group of people, since I don't cook. But I follow recipes well, and everything turned out quite tasty.

The tree got knocked over at the end of the night, and surprisingly no alcohol was involved. Just too many people in the family room with a very old tree stand. We lost several precious ornaments--a kitty cat one that was Sophie's favorite and she cried and cried over--but it could have been so much worse. I collect a new ornament for Sophie every year (gotta get that started for Luke), and I was afraid those were broken, but they all survived. Everyone helped take the ornaments off and I got the rest of the tree down yesterday, so it's down early. That's record time for me--usually it's up until after New Year's.

So my mom had the kids last night and today so we could have a night out and I could work today (see how much I'm getting done?), and I slept in until 9 a.m. this morning. Ahh, heaven! More of DH's out of town family is coming over tonight, and the weekend will hopefully be non-eventful. Just hanging out with the kids, enjoying their new toys and maybe I'll get the rest of the decorations put away.

I'm hoping to try out the Garmin on the next dry day; it's raining and cold and so it's the treadmill for me until the sun shines again.

At my Mom's house on Saturday, where we had Christmas with my side of the family, I saw a horrible picture of me from last Christmas when I was 60 pounds heavier than I am now, and the resulting emotions are fodder for an upcoming blog post. Stay tuned.

I hope you all had a holiday that you can look back and smile upon.

Day 301 - 151.8 Holding steady...

Well, I've stopped writing down anything I eat, because I'm not on plan AT ALL. But, thankfully, the scale is being very very good to me (why I act like The Scale is some kind of god is beyond me, but that's the power it has). At least for now. I'm sure there will be hell to pay before I get to December 31st.

Sophie, I am thrilled to report, has made it to school the past 2 days and is fine. She has had some dizziness in the morning, but it goes away quickly and she's enjoying herself at school. Vickie, I agree, a decongestant is in order. Actually, I think I'm going to start her on Claritin and keep her on it for a while and see what happens. There's so much allergy crap in our area that it won't hurt her either way, I'm sure.

After I finish posting, I'm headed to the gym for a run, 3 or 4 miles, we'll see how I feel about Tready after I hit 3. It's just started to rain and is windy and cold, so no outside running for me today.

Here's what's on tap for me the next few days...
Friday--finish Christmas shopping; shop for Christmas dinner stuff; run; dinner with our Church Group Friends

Saturday--laundry; clean clutter from living room; take care of kids; dinner at my mom's for My Side of the Family's Christmas

Sunday--church; nap; wrap, wrap, wrap!

Monday the 24th--more cleaning; more shopping for Christmas dinner; make stuffed chicken breasts and refrigerate for Tuesday night; church at 7 p.m.; wrap, wrap, wrap!

Christmas Day--presents; clean up the wrapping paper storm that will be our family room; get stuff ready for family dinner; bake chicken breasts (DH is grilling salmon, too); greet DH's family at 4 p.m. and serve 20 people dinner at 5 p.m.

December 26 - January 1st--I've got the kids until January 2nd (DH will probably escape to the office as much as he can for "2008 planning"). I'm sure I'll be certifiably insane by then. I'm a work-outside-the-home mom for a reason. Hopefully the little monkeys will enjoy their new toys for at least a week and it will keep them busy.

If I don't check in for a while, you'll know why. I will try to get back here and post some Christmas pictures, because I'm sure you're all just dying to see my gorgeous children with their Christmas haul. Heh.

I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas. May your presents be lovely and your waistbands, stretchy.

Day 300 - 151.8 Dizzy-ness stuff

Sophie's back at school today. I got her to bed early, and let her sleep until she woke up herself. She wasn't dizzy upon waking, and only felt slightly dizzy when she sat up and when she first started walking. We just take it slow and let her adjust with each movement, and if the dizzy goes away, then we're good. We were at the house for about 90 minutes before I took her to school, and even though she felt a little dizzy after getting out of the car, she walked the whole way to class and was fine. The kids were in "centers" (doing different works around the room) when we got there, and a little boy came up and asked her to help him with legos. So she got right to work and didn't even tell me goodbye. It was a very good thing.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this was a short episode and we are not going to see a repeat of the last one that was two weeks long.

I appreciate all your comments--I am so frustrated and at wits end on what to do next. The more I think about it, the ENT was really discouraging. He basically just gave up and shuffled her back to the neurologist. His statement that even if it is something inner ear related, they can't fix it anyway, is infuriating to me now. What I should have said, and what I will probably discuss with her pediatrician, is that I want to KNOW if it's inner ear related. Fine, we can't fix it, but at least we will know what it is.

Maybe we'll see another ENT. Maybe the neurologist will want to repeat all the tests she had when she was 4 (I have mixed feelings about that). Maybe she needs to see an allergist (none of the doctors has mentioned that at all).

DH wants me to start keeping a log of everything she does--when she sleeps, what she eats, her activities, if she has a cold, what the weather is like--so maybe we can pick up patterns. What I can tell him already is that it does seem to happen when she's got something sinus-related going on (she's had a runny nose and cough since the weekend). And when she doesn't get enough sleep. And sometimes when she's had a fever or other virus. Other than that, there's no rhyme or reason. At least that I can tell.

So no running for me yesterday; and I didn't eat too terribly bad, even though I was on no kind of food plan and didn't eat one fruit or veggie. I just didn't max out on junk. Thankfully the scale is still holding steady, even down a bit more today.

The weather is gorgeous here--mid 40s, sunny--and I'm aching to be running. But being out of the office for two days, and I'm leaving at 2:30 to pick Sophie up so she doesn't have to stay in day care and it's not such a trying day, doesn't leave any time for ME. But it's not about me right now. And that's just fine.

Day 299 - 152.8 - Sophie's sick again

I got a call from school this morning at 7:50 that Sophie was dizzy. She couldn't get off the bus by herself. I left her there for about 30 minutes while I got dressed and took Luke to his sitter, to make sure it was a real dizzy spell and not her just wanting to come home. It was real, and she's lying down and can't move or else she gets dizzy and feels like she's going to throw up. I've called her doctor's office. Nothing we can do, but I've asked that they talk to the neurologist about retesting her for everything again. I just don't know what else we can do.

On the positive front, my weight is stable. I was afraid I'd gained 5 pounds after the weekend, but it's still where it's been the past two months. With all the crap going on, I'm happy to be maintaining.

I did get a two mile run in while Sophie was at swim class last night. It wasn't much, but it was something and I feel better today.

Day ? Weight ? -- Weekend review (long)

I know it's the Holidays when I'm so mentally and physically exhausted from the weekend that I have to take Monday off just to recover.

Which is what I'm doing today--a mental health day off. And I kept Sophie home from school, too. She was up late every night this weekend and I thought she needed the rest. She continues to be dizzy every morning, but thankfully it's not lasting long. We took Luke to his baby sitters (he asked to go--"I wanna go Ginger's" he said after he'd been awake for a couple of hours), then I got Sophie a donut and me a latte and scone. Apparently I'm also taking the day off from giving a hoot about what I'm eating.

Friday I didn't end up doing my fabulously planned long run. Instead, DH wanted to go see a movie while Mom had the kids. Unfortunately, my resolve of needing that run drained away with an opportunity to see Will Smith (I love him). We saw "I Am Legend," which I really liked but was haunted by all weekend. It's one of those movies that is so vivid and the situation so terrible, it's impossible to forget and images kept flashing into my mind.

We also had to bake a turkey for Saturday night, when our group of church friends did the dinner for our city's Rescue Mission. I had forgotten about it and hadn't gotten the turkey out of the freezer, so at 3:30 Friday I started the 24 hour process of babysitting the 18 pound gobbler. I'll spare you the details, but basically we thawed it in cold water for 11 hours, then spent 6 hours baking it, and DH spent an hour carving and cleaning up afterwards.

Saturday I felt really awful with S.A.D. symptoms. I just could not motivate myself to do anything other than babysit the turkey and keep the kids from tearing the house apart. We all got ready for the rescue mission and left the house at 4:45 p.m. We (7 couples and 12 kids) put on a Christmas program there and served dinner, then we all went to dinner at Pizza Hut, then went home and got the kids to bed around 10 p.m., and then DH & I spent 5 hours setting up DH's new TV and A/V system (he decided he needed some new big boy toys from Santa this year). Yes, that's right--I was up Saturday night until 3 a.m.

Sunday morning, even though I wanted to sleep in and DH in fact did sleep in (he stayed up until 5 a.m. watching movies--he's insane), I had to take the kids to church, because the children's choir sang and I didn't want Sophie to miss it. So I got both the kids ready and got us to church at 9 a.m. on time.

Then at 1:30 we all left for the Log Inn ("officially recognized as the oldest restaurant in Indiana, the Log Inn was built in 1825 and has been in continuous business since") where we had the N. family reunion. Mark's family has been getting together for over 40 years, I think. There were 11 kids in the original N. clan, so there are about 100 N. relatives that gather each year. The food is all fattening--the best stuffing ever, fabulous potatoes and sweet corn, tasty milk gravy and famous fried chicken--and I ate it all. This is a once a year event, after all, and I don't feel guilty about partaking of such wonderful food.

What I do feel guilty about is my general malaise and lack of movement. Guilty isn't really the right word, though. These SAD symptoms are biochemical, and there is only so much I can control and make myself do, and I just have to get through it the best I can. I get this way every year, and this year I'm not on antidepressants like I have been in the past. I'm not sure what I'm going to do about it yet. I'd like to not get on drugs if at all possible; I'm not anti-Rx drugs, but I know that they can and did contribute to my weight problem and I'd prefer to use other methods to treat my SAD (I have a light for it, and exercise helps a lot) for as long as possible before I go back on something.

ANYWAY, sorry for the depressingly long post. It's only temporary, and hopefully some rest today will help put me back on track for tomorrow.

Mama said there'd be days like this,
there'd be days like this, my mama said.

Day 295 - 152.0 Sophie's doctor report

We met with an Ears, Nose & Throat specialist yesterday about Sophie's dizzy spells. He doesn't think her dizziness is caused by something inner ear related, at least not a "big thing" like Menier's disease. They did a full hearing test, and she passed perfectly. And the doctor spent a lot of time with us, listening as I described her symptoms over the past year.

He said even if he did a bunch of tests and they found it was some kind of "smaller" inner ear thing, there was nothing they could do to fix it. He thinks it's probably brain related, and passed the buck back to the neurologist.

The past three mornings she's woken up dizzy. It's gotten better as she's stayed vertical, and she's gone to school every day and been okay (not perfect, as she has felt dizzy some at school, but she's functioning). This morning she told me that she felt dizzy when she rolled on her right side, then when she rolled back to her left side it stopped. That tells me it's positional, which could be a good thing because then we know a little bit what we're dealing with.

But basically, there are still no answers and it's probably something she's going to have to deal with for a long time.

I'm going to call her Pediatrician and see if we can lay out a plan for what to do when another big episode hits. The girl is now over 60 pounds and is quite tall for a 6 year old (the prednisone she was on for 2 weeks back in October totally made her go through a growth spurt) and I just cannot carry her around everywhere like I had been doing. We'll need a wheel chair the next time she can't walk, and I want to know in advance what we'll need to make that happen. And I want to know if he or the neurologist feels that another MRI should be done.

We were at the ENT's office for 2 hours; it took an hour before they even got to us. And we left just in time to pick up Luke from day care. So I didn't get to run, and felt completely drained and emotionally wrecked because I was hoping we'd have some kind of answer from the ENT.

And because apparently this time of year makes me unable to cope with such things, I took the kids to Sonic and I ate lots of deep fried junk and some ice cream. It was a knee-jerk reaction to soothe my pain, and last night I felt bad physically and emotionally. I honestly don't know if I will ever not run to food when I feel like I've been hit by a train. It's still my balm of choice

Today, my friends, is a new day. And even though I desperately wanted my Starbucks grande nonfat sugar-free vanilla caramel machiato extra hot, and a cinnamon scone, I skipped it. I'm forcing myself to contain the urges to drown in carbs and fat. I can't promise I'll be chocolate free, but I will keep the damage to a minimum.

I am planning a long slow run today--not sure how many miles. Mom picks up the kids on Fridays so I don't have to worry about a 5 p.m. stopping time, and I'm going to leave work early if possible and just go running. Hopefully it will be outside, but the weather is iffy (thank goodness we aren't getting hit by the snow/ice storm) and it might be cold and rainy. If it is, the treadmill and I are friends and things will be just fine.

I need this run today like I need oxygen. I wish I was out there now. Hope you all have a healthy & relaxing (HA!) weekend.

Day 294 - 150.6 - Holiday Tag

I snagged this from Pokey's blog, even though she didn't tag me. So if you're in the mood, consider yourself tagged and have fun. I copied the list with no answers below, so you can copy to your blog and fill in.

Get to know your BF's (blogging friends).....holiday style. Let us all know how you celebrate this time of the year.

1. Wrapping paper or gift bag? Mostly wrapping paper, but I'll use a gift bag if I've got one and it fits the gift better than wrap.

2. Real tree or artificial? Artificial--always has been, always will be. The smell of pine gives me a massive headache (tragic, I know).

3. When do you put up your tree? After Thanksgiving

4. When do you take down your tree? After New Years

5. Do you like eggnog? Never tried it.

6. Favorite gift received as a child? For the life of me, I just can't remember any. I do remember really wanting a Bible the year my parents were going through their divorce-that-almost-was (they got back together after about a 4 month separation). I was in 2nd grade. There's a picture of me holding a green Living Bible like it was the best gift I'd ever gotten.

7. Do you have a nativity scene? Yes, it's the Little People Nativity Set. The kids play with it and it is just the cutest thing ever.

8. Hardest person to buy for? My husband. He buys everything he wants for himself. This year he's getting a massage chair thingy, because he has chronic lower back problems and he'd never buy this for himself.

9. Easiest person to buy for? The kiddos.

10. Worst Christmas gift you've ever received? My dad's wife (I refuse to call her my step mother; as a follow up to #6, my parents eventually did get divorced after 30 years of marriage, when I was 31) gave us a plastic rotating spice rack thingy and a cake baking set where the cake can be baked with a hollow spot to fill it with ice cream or other filling. I put them in a yard sale last summer, but I don't think they sold.

11. Mail or email Christmas cards? Mail

12. Favorite Christmas movie? A Christmas Story. I could watch all 24 hours on TBS if it didn't drive DH nuts after about 3 hours of it.

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? December, and I have been known to do it all on Christmas Eve.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Of course!

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? My grandma's chocolate pie

16. White or colored lights? Colored

17. Favorite Christmas song? Carol of the Bells and Handel's Messiah

18. Traveling for Christmas or stay home? Stay home. We are hosting DH's family at our house for dinner on Christmas day this year. But at least once, I would absolutely love to spend Christmas at Disney World.

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeers? If I sing the song in my head..."You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen, Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen. But do you recall, the most famous reindeer of all? Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer..."

20. Angel or Star on top of tree? Star

21. Open presents Christmas Eve or Morning? Morning

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year? The stress. I mean, really, it's supposed to be all about Jesus and family and love. But there are so many gatherings and presents to buy--we have 5 events to go to including our business open house--that it just gets overwhelming.

23. What I love most about Christmas? The Christmas lights and holiday music. And of course, my kiddos opening their presents on Christmas morning. This will be a fun year with Luke at a great age to enjoy his presents. I hope Sophie is happy with hers and it' s not a "Is that all?" kind of year (insert holiday stress here).

Gosh, I didn't mean to be such a downer on my responses. I guess that stress is getting to me already. Well, Merry Christmas to you all anyway. I think I'll go eat some chocolate and take off my Grinch hat now. =)

EDITED LATER TO ADD: Guys, go give Jill a shout of support when you have a chance. She's a victim of the recent ice storm and needs some cyber hugs right now.

For your blogs....
1. Wrapping paper or gift bag?
2. Real tree or artificial?
3. When do you put up your tree?
4. When do you take down your tree?
5. Do you like eggnog?
6. Favorite gift received as a child?
7. Do you have a nativity scene?
8. Hardest person to buy for?
9. Easiest person to buy for?
10. Worst Christmas gift you've ever received?
11. Mail or email Christmas cards?
12. Favorite Christmas movie?
13. When do you start shopping for Christmas?
14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?
15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?
16. White or colored lights?
17. Favorite Christmas song?
18. Traveling for Christmas or stay home?
19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeers?
20. Angel or Star on top of tree?
21. Open presents Christmas Eve or Morning?
22. Most annoying thing about this time of year?
23. What I love most about Christmas?

Day 293 - 151.2 - 5 miles and a trip to Target

Yesterday I made it out for a 5.1 mile run. It wasn't a great one, and I was ready to quit around mile 2. That's the good thing about running outside--once you're out there, you can't just give up 'cause it's your own two feet that have to carry you home. Anywho, I had a choice around 2.5 miles whether to turn left and finish with 3 or turn right and go for my planned-for 5. Obviously I ran the 5, but it wasn't without protest.

It must have been the warm humid weather (we either tied or hit a new record high yesterday, 68*), or else my recent malaise, but I was not feeling it. Around mile 4 for about 5 minutes I felt great. That's not saying much for a 57 minute run.

Once I was finished, I was happy I'd put in the effort. I know my evening went better with the endorphins running through me.

After my run and after picking up the kids, I had to go to Target. I needed to buy a ton of stuff, so I got the cart with the two kids' seats on the front so the basket would be empty (Sophie usually sits in the basket and Luke sits in the kid seat). This was the first time Luke's been in this kind of seat, which provides more freedom even though he was sort of strapped in. It was such a pain. He did not want to stay put, especially since Sophie kept getting up and walking around.

I bought them a pretzel to share and Sprites to drink, and that kept him busy for a while. I got all the stuff I needed, and then we mosied over to the toys. I finally let Luke out of his seat, and he found a tricycle sitting in the aisle that his butt stayed glued to until it was time to check out. He was so cute, riding all over the toy aisles and up to the checkout area. Needless to say, he's getting a new tricycle for Christmas. But-- Oh, the drama when I had to take him out and put him back in the cart. I was ready to sell my 2 year old to the highest bidder.
***
I got the Bourne Ultimatum for DH, and last night I was able to watch about 30 minutes of it before falling asleep (saw it in the theater, but can't wait to watch it again--LOVE this trilogy). Wendy, you'll appreciate this. The back of the DVD has the bonus features listed, and on all but one, they end with an exclamation point. It was so annoying, and I kept thinking how stupid they looked-- "See the making of the car chase!" "Listen as Matt Damon talks about how sexy he is!" None of them were ! worthy. Luckily the movie doesn't reflect the DVD case writer's abilities.
***
Sophie was dizzy this morning, and it started when she rolled over on her right side. I made her get up, and made her go to school even though she still wasn't feeling 100% after breakfast. I called school about an hour ago and they said she was doing fine and hadn't complained about being dizzy at all, Thank God. I was feeling really guilty about pushing her, but I'm glad I did. Santa brought letters to her class today, and she'd have hated to miss out. Her ENT appointment is tomorrow; I'm praying we will get some answers soon.

Day 291 - 153.8 Monday Melt Down

It's been a strange couple of days. Nothing out of the ordinary, events-wise. But it's like I've gone off kilter, food-wise.

Yesterday was cookie day. I could not get enough cookies.

Today, I ate a glazed donut at the office for breakfast, a Starbucks latte and cinnamon coffee cake for lunch, and a Happy Meal cheeseburger with fries and a Coke for dinner. And a few more cookies.

I've been struggling with weekend food for a couple of months. But it has been only weekends. This Monday melt-down is a new phenomenon. And I don't like it.

It was the old "I can't help myself" feeling, the auto pilot of self destruction taking over.

I haven't felt that way in a long time, and I'm sure it's no coincidence that it showed up on day 3 of a Rain Fest here in Evansville. And it's the holidays. And I tend to internalize other people's difficult situations and somehow manage to let their negativity or sadness or frustration eat up my positive strength. I've been around several of these people this past weekend.

So my reserves are low right now, and resistance to my inner Fat Girl has been futile.

I know it's temporary, and I don't feel hopeless or anything--I know I will get back on track. I'll have a healthy breakfast tomorrow, and get back to eating vegetables at lunch and dinner again, and will get a strong run in tomorrow afternoon. Eventually the sun will shine again (not for a while, though, since there's more rain forecast until Saturday). I may have to start sitting under my S.A.D. light for a while.

But it surprised me how easily I slipped into the helplessness of easy comfort food. If I'd been in Target today, I can't say I'd have been able to resist buying Twinkies. It was that bad.

No wonder January is a time for new beginnings. I'm guessing December's going to be a little rough.
****
Edited later to add: So I just started to catch up on my blog buddies, and I come across this. I am in freaking awe. The amount of time it took to put all this together and the thoughtfulness with which it was done just blows me away. Blogging friends are da bomb.

7 on the 8th

I'm a DNF in the 8 on the 8th race. But not because I didn't try. I just ran out of time.

I dropped off Sophie at her Girl Scouts meeting at 12:30, then was going to take Luke to the gym's kids center while I ran (it was 40* and raining and I wasn't in the mood for a cold, wet run so ran on the treadmill). But DH decided he'd finished with his work and would keep Luke. So I dropped him off with Dad at the office and I headed to the gym. This was a good thing because Luke needed a nap, but it set me back time wise.

I got to the gym at 1 p.m. Sophie's meeting was over at 2:30, and I was a 10 minute drive from her. That left me 80 minutes to run 8 miles. I am not a 10 minute mile runner, so I knew I'd be short. But I ran my heart out for 7 miles. I finished in 77 minutes and hit my race pace target of 11 min mile average.

The first 2 miles I felt really strong and didn't take a walk break at all, and held a 10:30 pace. I listened to the Dave Matthews Band Concert in Central Park CD's, an awesome soundtrack for this indoor run. The first song got me through an entire mile.

At 2 miles I took a water/walk break for about a minute, then cranked it back up to 10:30 per mile and ran another mile and a half. Then another break and another mile at 10:30. At 4.5 miles I started feeling tired and thought I was probably running too fast, but instead of slowing down, I kicked it up to a 10:00 pace. I figured I'd run as hard as I could while I still had some life in me, and it worked. I ran mile 4.5 - 5.5 in 10 minutes.

After a final water/walk break, I had to slow down for the last 1.5 miles. I probably walked a half mile total and ran the rest mostly at an 11:00 pace.

I hurried out of there to get Sophie and felt pleased I'd run more than I ever have before (my previous long run was 6.3 miles) but bummed I didn't get to finish the full 8. I'd thought about running 1 mile at home outside, but I was shaky and exhausted and it was really raining, so I just skipped it.

So it was 7 on the 8th for me. I'm still really glad I signed up and would probably not have run at all today if it hadn't been for the race. And now I have a new long run distance I can brag about.

Day 288 - 150.6 What a difference a year makes

I am a completely different person now than I was a year ago.

Last year if I'd had a night all to myself, I'd have had a fast food dinner, gone to see a movie, eaten popcorn and chocolate covered peanuts (Goobers are my favorite movie candy), and maybe even had some ice cream on the way home.

This past Wednesday when Mark took the kids and I had a free night, I went to a 60 minute Pilates class, then ran 3.1 miles, then got a skinny Latte and Christmas shopped. I felt like such a super star after 96 minutes of exercise.

A sugar rush just does not compare to an endorphin rush.

Yesterday was nuts--we are getting ready for our office's Holiday open house which is today from 3 p.m. to 7 p.m. You're all invited! =)-- but I still made it to the gym for 3.1 miles on the treadmill. It was C-O-L-D and dreary and I was not in the mood to fight the elements. So the treadmill it was. I walked the entire first mile, but then kicked it up a notch and even ran .5 miles at 9:30 and .2 miles at 8:57. I was smokin' it.

Tomorrow is 8 Miles on the 8th, Non Runner Nancy's virtual race. I am hoping desperately this rainy weather skips us, otherwise I'll be running on an inside track & treadmill. I may take a movie with me if I have to run inside; we're back in the gym (after the fire this summer--it's not all done but the fitness center is back up) where the treadmills all have TV's and DVD players. Either way, it will be an early morning run since I have to leave to pick up the kiddos at my mom's by 10:30 a.m. (they are spending the night with her since we have the open house). And it will also be the first time I've run 8 miles. Should be interesting.

Here's the pic of Mark & me that turned out so well. I will catch up on your blogs this weekend. I miss you guys. Have a healthy and happy Saturday & Sunday.

Family Christmas Photo

If you look closely in Sophie's hand you can see a green M&M. These are what *finally* got Luke to smile. We spent a good 15 minutes trying to get him to sit still and smile, before I got a bag of M&M's from the photography studio's Snack Box.

Day 286 - 152.0 Photo Session & Parenting Saga

We took the kids to have our Christmas picture made yesterday afternoon. Now, typically, I'm a big believer in the casual kids-in-front-of-the-Christmas-tree-in-their-PJ's photo for Christmas cards, but these go to our clients and we have a good friend who's a professional photographer and has done our pictures for several years, so he cuts us a deal.

I knew it was going to be a challenge because Luke is 2 and he is all boy and doesn't like to sit still. And it was tough, but we got a few good shots and with the magic of digital photography, my best face will be moved to the picture with the best faces of the rest of the family.

We also had a shot of just Mark and me, for business use. The picture turned out great. When I get the .pdf's, I'll post here.

It was the first time since our wedding that I was really happy with a studio picture of me. Mark even said I looked beautiful. Which made me tear up because I was not feeling beautiful last night....

My daughter and I have been butting heads a lot lately. It's like a teenager has invaded her 6 year old body and taken over. She complains a lot and doesn't like me asking her to do things, like getting up in the morning or going to bed. And I get impatient easily and lose my temper with her. And last night was just ugly and I made her feel bad about herself, and even though we made up, I felt like I'm damaging my kid and I'm a terrible mother.

I'm overly sensitive, she's overly sensitive; I'm strong willed, she's strong willed...it's a lethal combination. After she went to sleep, I still had to go to the grocery store at 9:30 at night. I felt like sh!t and wanted to drown myself in ice cream. Instead of Ben & Jerry's, I bought a Blue Bunny "personal indulgence" serving of chocolate chip cookie dough, which has 340 calories. Not a disaster, but still a big ole dose of my drug of choice.

I've got a book on 6 year olds, and I read a chapter on their behavior that made me feel better. Basically, she's normal, and it will get better as she gets older, and then will get worse again when she turns 11. It said parents need to not be emotional when dealing with this kind of behavior. And to get a break when you need it.

And boy do I need a break.

So Mark's taking the kids tonight and I get a night off. Not sure what I'll do, but hopefully it will include a trip to the gym since I can't run at 4 pm like I usually do (we have clients coming in for a meeting). A night all to myself is pretty rare, and I'm very much looking forward to it. Hopefully I'll find some non-emotional patient reserve deep down inside myself so my daughter will make it to age 7.

Day 285 - 150.8 Fabulous 3.1 Miles

I had one of the best runs ever yesterday. I went out earlier than usual, at 3:15, so there was daylight the entire run. It was cold--only 39*--but not windy. It was "only" a 5K, but I hit a PR of 32 minutes (3 seconds faster than my first 5K race pace).

Before my feet hit the pavement, I was in a terrible "I don't wanna" mood. I made myself change clothes and was this close to not even going. Then while talking with a client on the phone, I got a gander at my hips all spread out on my chair in my workout pants. Let me tell you--when there's nothing but thin black running pants on this body and its all slouched down with legs stretched out and nothing squeezed in, it's not a pretty picture. It was quite motivating, because I got off my butt and got out the door.

Obviously I'm very glad I did. Runs like that are reasons to keep running. The next time I'm in one of those moods before a run, I'll remember this day and find my motivation and make it a good one.
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In other running news, the Indy 500 Festival Mini Marathon is sold out. I got an email today that all 35,000 slots are filled, with participants from 50 states and 8 countries. And I get to be part of it! Pasta Queen is running it, too, and we've emailed and I will hopefully get to meet her. How cool is that?

Day 284 - 152.4 Weekend in Review

Weekends are proving to be fatal for my diet. It's like I become a different person from Friday night until Monday morning, eating whatever I want and not writing anything down in my food journal. I even had half a Moe's burrito Saturday, which is filled with sodium and fat (but it was SO good....I love Moe's and haven't had a burrito since before my diet started in February). The way the calendar is shaping up for the rest of the month and all the stuff we have to go to every weekend in December, I don't foresee things improving much.

No running Friday, due to a bunch of work I had to get done before I left the office, which wasn't until 5:30. And since Evil Laura takes over on Saturday and Sunday, no running over the weekend either. I only ran twice last week. Pitiful!

It was a busy weekend for the family--I got all the decorations out of the garage and I put up the Christmas tree on Friday night. I had bought lights at Target but when I got them out, I saw I had bought white wire instead of green wire (DOH!) so DH had to go buy new lights Saturday.

Sophie woke up Saturday morning feeling sick to her stomach, and sure enough she had a stomach bug that lasted about 4 hours. So my morning was spent comforting my little girl, holding her head while she threw up. After she slept a couple of hours around lunch time, she woke up feeling fine, thank goodness.

I put the lights on the tree while she and Luke took naps, then she helped me put the ornaments and icicles on in the afternoon. We watched Christmas movies and listened to Christmas music, and around 4 p.m. we all went outside and put up the outside decorations. A good time was had by all (heh).

DH and Sophie made a gingerbread house Saturday night. They are so cute together--they're both artists and have a flair for that kind of thing.

The dining room table is piled with the remaining decorations that go in the living room and the kids' rooms (they each get a little tree). I'm hoping to get that done during the week.

Sunday was church in the morning, lunch at Hooters (the kids love it there, and we get to watch football), a nap (yes, I take naps on Sunday whenever I can), and then the Advent program at church from 6 - 8 p.m. It was rainy, windy, and cold, but we went anyway, and I'm glad we did. It was a soup & sandwich dinner, followed by a lesson about Christmas, singing carols, and a craft. DH & I took turns chasing Luke (he is such a 2 year old), and Sophie had fun playing with her friend Annie. It was a late night, but a good way to start the Season.

This morning it was in the upper 20s, and it's only getting to 40 today for the high. I've packed my cold-weather running stuff and am going to get out there, even if it's only 3 miles. 3 is better than zero. Food is back on track. Hopefully I can erase the weekend damage in a few days.